What I've been holding back.

On August 24, 2013 The Beef and I did in fact get married without a hitch.

On September 6, 2013 we went on our honeymoon.

I haven't mentioned ANY of this on the blog yet!

But why?

Honestly, I have two very valid reasons.

1) I really needed a wedding detox.

2) I wanted to update with pictures and I don't have the professional ones back yet 

(but I've seen some of them and they are AMAZING)

I promise though that you'll get both stories eventually, I'll start with the honeymoon because that's the part I was most looking forward to anyway and I do have all the pictures from that adventure.

I also promise that I will post about all the DIY stuff I did for the wedding. My original intention was to post about it while I was doing it but I feel like once you see how much I did in the time span of three months while working 50hrs a week you'll understand that it wasn't feasible.

So big things are coming this way and on top of that fall is here which always means more adventures. :D

I love linking up

So thanks to Ducky I discovered #ippp which just might be the best link up ever because the only rules are that I need to have at least one picture from my phone in the post. I think almost every post I have contains one picture from my phone. You can see the other link ups over at Greta's blog.

The Beef woke up one day this week not feeling well and decided that going to work wouldn't be the best course of action. I don't know about you but when I'm sick, I am useless. When The Beef is sick he's productive. He decided that our bathroom needed some additions and went to work on making it so.

A few hours later I woke up from my coma of exhaustion completely unaware of the mornings activities, scared to death because I could hear that someone else was in the house. What I found was The Beef who was very pleased with himself (and rightfully so) and a bathroom that was just a little bit more helpful than before.

Here are our new additions:

Door hangers for the bathrobes that are screwed in and won't come flying down at us like weapons whenever we move the door.

Flower decals to cover up the marks on the walls left by hooks that were removed.

A new shower head that rains gently upon you (but not so gently that it takes forever to get soap out of my super thick hair). He got this because he was too tall for the other shower head and always had to duck underneath it.

A caddy for our things so we no longer have an army of bottles on the floor of the shower.

A toilet paper holder that stays still instead of the free standing one that was always dancing around the bathroom and falling over.

Perhaps he should get sick more often. ;)

You Decide.

I love hats, I have a lovely collection of hats but it is deeply flawed because there isn't much in my collection that is winter appropriate. 

Sure I've got a great penguin hat:

And the Beef just got me this one:

I'd really like to beef up my winter hat collection but like I said yesterday "I'm terrified of change and sometimes I look like a bum" I was able to narrow down a few choices though and I thought I would leave it up to a vote from my lovely readers. 

#1 Super Cute Pixie Hat.

#2 Big Ole Slouchy Hat.

#3 Wicked Long Tube Hat

#4 Cat Hat with Ear Flaps

Vote away dear friends, I put my winter fashion in your capable hands. 

The Not So Physical Edition

Perhaps it is because I have a blog that I sometimes use as a diary, or because I word vomit all over twitter after midnight, or people are just generally nosy bastards and we now live in a society where everyone is unfiltered because of social networking.

Who knows?

But throw in some holiday cheer and everyone and their mother around this place getting knocked up and guess what? My personal business seems to be on everyones mind these days. Unsure of what I'm talking about? Of course you are! Out here in blogland you are prefect! You wouldn't dare ask such personal questions. But if you were someone who (barely) knew me face to face and happened to catch me at a moment of free time you would likely wonder out loud if tonight is the night that I come home to this:

Source

Come to think of it that would really piss me off because my name is most certainly not Keli. Also I would probably get a phone call giving me a heads up before I actually saw it and that would be pretty awkward. 

Ok so maybe no one is expecting a big sign on my lawn (hopefully not) but people are freaking out over the idea of The Beef & I getting engaged and tying the knot. It's easy to see why, we're vomit inducing adorable together.

If that wasn't enough for you I can totally back this up with comments left on my xmas facebook pictures:

Anyway, we live together so "apparently" the natural progression of things is logical. I'm not here to argue if that is the case or not, there are too many factors to consider and I haven't had enough sleep but I will say this:

It's none of you flippin' business! 

If I tried to talk to you about the state of your reproductive organs or whether or not you've had a bowel movement today in front of a group of people who we both may or may not know you'd be less than pleased with me because these are very personal matters. 

Well guess what, so is the state of my relationship. 

I have a feeling that my readership demographic can actually relate to this strife pretty well so instead of just complaining about it, I'd like to offer up some helpful tips for dealing with it.

When faced with the "When are you getting/Why aren't you engaged yet?" try these responses:

When the divorce is final.

When my tracking anklet is removed.

When the sex change operation is completed.

When pigs fly.

When the 9th star wars movie comes out.

When all the tests come back clean.

When no one is looking.

As soon as we grow up.

When people stop asking.

When your hairline stops receding. 

Before I start to show. *rub belly*

After the baby is born.

After my parole hearing.

When I find suitable sister wives.

When he comes back from space camp.

When I master the art of vacuuming.

September 31st. 

When the subliminal messages take hold.

When I'm done brainwashing him.

After the comet passes.

When Edward Cullen stops sneaking into my bedroom.

After he cuts down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring.

When I get my inheritance. *maniacal laugher*

If those don't get the "it's none of your business" point across just kill them and eat them. 

Do you/have you had to deal with this? Do you have anymore comeback suggestions?

I can't believe it took this long to share this

I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not but I'm kind of a big fan of penguins. Not real penguins, but cartoon penguins, specifically ones with hats on. I know this makes me sound like a crazy person, but whatever, we're all friends here. The nice thing about this weird little obsession of mine is that it almost seems normal at Christmas time and that's really the only time you'll seem indulge. I figured I'd mention this because I'm about to share my inside Christmas decorations with you and I didn't want you to wonder why there were so many penguins. Also keep in mind that this is only about 1/2 of my Christmas decorations as the rest are still in storage because I like having room to walk though my house. 

 Super comfy penguin pillow. Mistletoe conviently hung over the bedroom door. 

Super fun candy cane wreath I made. Fabric square that was last years xmas craft project.

Mr. & Mrs. Claus inherited from my grandparent flaking my bathroom.

Amazing Santa cookie jar. Why is it amazing? Well, my mom had one just like it when I was growing up. Eventually she gave it to me and I just loved it to death. A few years ago I accidentally broke it and no matter how much glue I used there was just no saving it. I was completely crushed, then one day I walked into a thrift store and there it was, just waiting for me to bring it home. My plushy penguin friend that I like to call Topper, who happens to be sporting a very flashy scarf that my BFF Fishy knitted for him.

Here you can see my love for tacky cheese at war with my down home sensibilities. 

 One day I'm going to an Elf on a Shelf terror.

Giant nutcracker and stocking holder b/c I'm still without a fireplace.

Santa collection photo bombed by another elf.

Another fabric square from last year.

Random Christmas items lining the window sill in the kitchen. Most of them nearly as old as me.

OMFG PENGUINS!

 These pot holders are up all year long, I just turn them around to try and hide the Christmas.

2 new additions this year in the form of the door mat and the adorable toilet rugs that I need to alter so they fit completely. The soap dispenser is an old friend you might remember from my old pink bathroom. 

Our little tree that I had to get this year because the one I normally use is just too damn big for the living room. It serves its purpose but I really really miss the gigantic one.

And of course us being full of Christmas spirit cheese.

Do you go nuts decorating inside too? Do you prefer tacky or traditional decorations? 

Outside Christmas

True to my word Thanksgiving day ended with the lighting of our outside Christmas decorations. This is the first The Beef and I had our own place to decorate and my first time having enough room outside to do my own things. This is what we ended up with. 

I wish the pictures were better quality but I was shivering and still in my Thanksgiving food coma so they will have to do. I'm pretty pumped about how it all turned out. :)

Have you decorated yet?

Insanity

One week until Thanksgiving and I've already gone insane. As pictured above I am currently surrounded by Christmas stuff but it's not out of it's boxes yet, which I think is my problem.

You see, when we moved in April we never moved our Christmas stuff out of my mom's attic. We had a lot going on at the time and figured it would get taken care of eventually. Well, eventually was yesterday when I got up and hit the ground running at 6am on what was probably the most productive day of my entire life. One of the many things I accomplished yesterday was finally packing up and organizing my Halloween decorations (the ones that survived the hurricane) and putting my camping supplies away for the season. No sooner was the main level our our house free from that clutter when it was invaded by my Christmas decorations.

Christmas decorations fall into 3 categories, things for decorating outside, things for decorating inside and anything pertaining to the tree. It's been a really long time since I've been able to use my outside decorations so they were all coming over the house, no if ands or buts.

As far as inside decorations go I had to leave some behind for now because I just don't have the interior space. All the BIG pieces needed to stay safely at Mom's along with the entirety of my expansive lighted ceramic Christmas village. *sigh* One day I'll have space for it again...  I'm not even sure I have enough room for the things I did bring over, so we'll just have to see how that goes.

We are a fake tree household because I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My tree, the one I've been using forever is gigantic and will not fit here so I needed to temporarily replace it. I was actually able to get one free from a coworker back in May. I haven't actually put it together yet so we'll see how that works out.

When I brought the decorations over yesterday I attempted to organize them by category (minus 2 plastic figures that are hiding out behind a bush on the side of my house) and my living room ended up looking like this:

If I'm not going to decorate for another week it's going to be hard to live around all of these boxes. So I needed to put on my thinking cap and play tetris with my living room. I figured out where the tree was going to go and moved some furniture accordingly. The end result was a might stack of Christmas decorations that is going to spend the next week calling to me to let them out and explode all over the house...

How can you say no to the snowman? 

So what do you think, will I be able to hold out until after Thanksgiving?

*camera noise*

I like taking pictures, I always have. I think stuff looks neat and I want to remember it, so I snap snap away. I also like to be in charge so I used to dress my friend up so I could take tons of pictures of her in various costumes to combat boredom. I took a black and white photography class in high school and all I learned was how to fix my camera because it was so old and crappy. 

I understand the fundamentals of cameras, I have a grasp of the principles of photography, but no body pays me to take pictures so I just don't care. I'm not going to line up the perfect shot, I'm just here to capture a memory, maybe tell a little bit of a story.

I've never once come across a picture of mine and not know when it was taken and what was going on at the time. This even goes for college, I know, you're impressed. 

The above reasons are probably why I'm such a big fan of instagram. Ugh, I know, it's so trendy, I'm such a hipster for even admitting that I have it on my phone. OMG! I don't care about the filters though they're a great way to kill time and experiment. I don't care about the extra college feature I downloaded, though I do prefer condensing memories. I don't even care that I can view other peoples photos. If you took all of those features away I would still be happy because it's giving me the opportunity to create a photo diary. 

I prefer it to facebook because I know that far less people follow me on instagram and I don't have to worry about spamming anyone with my private content. Though if you really want to follow me on instagram, they just opened up their webpage feature and I've added a link to my side bar along side the websites facebook page, my twitter and pinterest links. 

**SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION**

Be warned if you follow my instagram, I will post pictures of my food. I've come to understand that not everyone likes to see that. 

Honestly though, this was one amazing seasonal meal day. Mixed vegetables, roasted chicken, sweet potato casserole, red skin garlic mashed potatoes, pumpkin egg nog, apple pie ala mode and hot chocolate with whipped cream. The snow has fallen and the house is warmer when the oven is on.

You will also occasionally be forced to view declarations of much from either myself or The Beef.

That's a dry erase board I made from a frame and some scrapbooking supplies, anything that comes after the word because isn't permanent so you can bet your behind that I'm taking a picture of it. 

And finally, on those long nights when I'm working a second shift and my social networking feeds have gone to sleep you can expect empty parking lot or landscape pictures because I feel like the only person awake in the entire world. 

But why?! You ask with disdain. Well, it's because I feel like complaining about it and I hope that perhaps if it is paired with a picture it might not be so bad. 

I'm not crazy about hashtags though so don't worry about having to fight though a sea of the after each pictures. *scouts honor*

What about you, any other instagram fans out there?