What's in a name?

Well you can still call me Button, I clearly have no issue with this. In real life though after I got married I wanted to change my name. I know this can be a hot topic for some people but for me it was a no brainer. I always expected that my last name would be different one day and to be honest I was pretty excited about it. 

This is not because I was dying to shed my family name or I wanted to feel like I belonged to someone else. It's far more shallow than that. My maiden name was four syllables and I can count on one hand the amount of people who pronounced it correctly on the first try. 

The Beef on the other hand came with a last name that only has two syllables and even though it is often mispelled it is never mispronounced. I'll take that trade off any day. 

I surely would have been in a hell of a pickle if he'd had a name more complicated than I did. However, looking back in my dating history at the last names of my partners aside from one crazy Polish exception (the last name, not the guy) you can find a James, Jones, Smith & Stevens. My subconscious was totally looking out for me. 

Changing my name in the real world wasn't too difficult. Social security turned out to be quick and easy but I suspect that was just good timing on my part as I walked into an empty office and walked out to see 15 people waiting. 

My second stop was DMV where I had similar luck in that it was nearly empty when I arrived and a bus possibly let out right behind me. However, they weren't much help to me because apparently you need to hit up SS and DMV with 48 hours in between. 

Who doesn't love going to the DMV twice in one week? My second trip was much more successful in that I left with a new drivers license but not successful in that I sat there forever furiously tweeting and instagramming my excruciating boredness. 

Changing my name at work was a breeze and I was met with more congratulations from coworkers that I don't really know which always makes me awkward, I can only hope they don't take it personally.

When it came time to change my name on my bank accounts I had to stumble through more congratulations from strangers, several attempts to sell me new credit cards and finally the first time I ever needed to sign my new name.

My old signature was a perfect mess, unreadable but sleek and slightly dangerous looking. I could execute it in a second and it was uniquely me. I never doodled my new name while day dreaming, I wish I would have. It might have saved me the embarrassment of stopping halfway through my signature and freezing like a deer in headlights. Eventually I mumbled that I should have practiced this and then finishing my signature with a result that looked like something a toddler did with their foot. 

Next came my credit cards which was weird because I had to do it on the phone and listen to someone in a far away call center congratulate me on behave of their company on my new marriage over and over again. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm hyped to be Mrs. The Beef but strangers being pumped about it strikes me as creepy and or disingenuine. Also, I'm socially awkward so what do I know?

The biggest challenge came from changing my "internet name". This is funny because I didn't need to, it's just the internet, my usernames have no bearing over anything. However, since I made the decision some time ago to base my internet name off of my real name I thought it would be appropriate to change it to reflect my new last name.

My maiden name started with a C which translated into See on the internet, this is something I did without thought one day. My married name starts with a T which I could spell Tee or Tea. Unwilling to decide I took a vote, I asked for opinions in several forums and was surprised by input. Did I want to be a beverage or an article of clothing? I didn't see the importance since I don't ever plan on branding myself but it did bring up some amusing mental images.

The winner was Tea which is odd because I don't really even like tea. I also felt that changing only one letter in my internet last name was kind of a gip, so if i had been Button Sea I would probably now be Button Tee. 

By the way, what is the over under on how long it's going to take me to stop giggling like a pixie stick fueled 9 years old whenever I hear my new name?

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