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11.6.12

I did it!

*stands up* Hi, my name is Button... and I'm a scardy pants.

I mentioned last week that when the Beef and I decided to move we ended up pushing the actual move in date back a week so I wouldn't have to spend my first 7 nights in the house alone. I was given 2 months to get used to the noises and quirks of the cabin before I was expected to go it alone.

Sleep for me is a tricky thing. If left up to my own devices I would do it as little as possible. It is only my need to snuggle with the Beef that finds me in bed for any decent amount of time. Not having an actual reason to go to bed combined with my over active imagination makes for an interesting senario. 

Well, I survived. (duh....)

Obviously there was no doubt to anyone except me that this would happen. For whatever reason I'm fairly certain that serial killers just hang around outside just waiting for the one in a blue moon chance that I'll be left unattended after dark. 

The Beef went off for a one night motorcycle man adventure camping trip. Sounds super fun, right? I thought so, but I am without motorcycle or male private bits so I was not invited. FYI- I am not bitter about this in the slightest, I had to work all weekend, I would rather he was off doing something super cool with his man friends. 

I will start this out by admitting that my preparation for the evening was shotty.

I worked a 3-11 shift, on my break I was rewarded with a lovely alcohol inspired phone call from my campfire side boyfriend. His intoxicated tendencies include vomited romantic mush at me, I can't complain, it melts my icy little heart.

I thought I had it all planned out, I was going to have the Beef on the phone when I got home so he would be the first person, aside from me, to know that I was about to be kidnapped by a giant ventriloquist dummy and his mutant spawn.

Don't judge me, it could happen.

However, my plans were thwarted when I got in my car and noticed a text message from the Beef. The first part of it was more super sweet romanticness, but the second was him saying good night because he just couldn't stay up anymore.

Ok, fine, no big deal, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I'm also the kind of girl who will mumble that under her breath for the entire fifteen minute ride home ignoring the fact that it only gets her worked up instead of calming her down. 

I pulled up to the cabin only to find that the front porch light was out. Clearly I was about to be ambushed. Never mind the fact that I forgot to turn it only when I left that afternoon. I got out of my car and prepared to use the flashlight feature on my smartphone, only to be told that I didn't have enough battery to accommodate that.

I paused for a moment, waiting for the scary music to start playing. When I was met with silence I resigned myself to the certain doom that awaited me and approached the house. Once inside, much to my surprise, I was met with...

i don't even have a cat...


my empty living room. Yeah...

I spent a perfectly boring evening not watching TV because the lure of shitty horror films netflix has to offer is too strong, but instead doing laundry, straightening up, putzing around the internet and wondering when in the world I was going to sleep.
Eventually my natural nocturnal tendencies and absolute certainty that a gigantic rabid bunny was just waiting for me to crawl into bed before he smashed through my bedroom wall was no match for my need to sleep.

He makes his entrance kool-aid man style.


So I did just that, I went into the bedroom, got under the covers, turned out the light (and kept it off) and only laid there for about a half hour until my heart rate slowed enough for sleep to be possible. 

The funny part is, that no matter how much I make fun of myself there is nothing I can do to change my thought process when I'm home alone.

So, what about you? How are you at sleeping alone? Do you have any irrational fears?



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