Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh...

This weeks abuse of the search bar is brought to you by BATMAN! 

Just another one of my obsessions.

Our first stop is Esty over at the shop of Keep Calm and Stay Gold. Now I'll admit that after a while this whole Keep Calm and whatever trend gets pretty old, but then every once in a while you come across one you haven't seen a million times and it really tickles your fancy. That's what happened here.

I want this.

My next stop was Pinterest (Stop? Psssh...I live there.)  via imgru.com 

where for whatever reason this exists.

I would like to be invited to that party.

Amazon was next on my hitlist and I'll admit that what I found confused me.

Since when is Batman supposed to be adorable?!

Moving on, perhaps Artfire will turn up something better. So I headed over to Poppys Wicked Garden, well that sounds fun. I know everyone has a different idea of fun, but I'm still not sure how I feel about this.

I meeeeean....

If nothing else, Ebay is always good for something interesting. Today they delivered...

WTF...

Confused? Perhaps the description of the item will help you.

This item was purchased new and USED ONLY ONCE. However it was intentionally "aged" to make Batman appear OLD and WORN OUT! There are uspecial, nique and intentional BURN MARKS, DIRT SCUFF MARKS, SMALL RIPS & TEARS, and OLD DUCT TAPE!!!!!!!!   (Sorry for the lousy picture, but that's the actual item as recently worn at benefit event)

Currently selling for $50 online

All you need to do is add the Catheter Bag and Hose (as shown but not included - you wouldn't want it anyway ;-) ), or Old People Sunglasses (INCLUDED!!!!!), or Foot Boot/Brace (as shown but not included), or a Walker, Cane, Crutch, or "BatMobile Handicapped Scooter" for a special and unique costume unlike any other.  Add a pillow for some belly stuffing and now you've got "FATMAN" the superhero!

In this special costume,  Batman's ears are torn and duct tapped back on. His boot coverings are burnt at the ends, he has duct tape holding him together in places, and he's been "burned and scorched" (yeah, real burns)  through too many failed rescues as he got older and s l o w e r   ! :-)

And last but certainly not least, craigslist, where dreams come true.

I wish I cold play the saxophone.

Sax player wanted for superhero group! I am forming a theatrical band called The Super Friends. Each member dresses as a different superhero. I will be the classic Adam West Batman on guitar. Need a trumpet player and saxaphonist for the horn section. You can be Superman, Green Lantern, Captain Marvel, Aquaman, Captain America, Green Hornet or any classic DC superhero. Looking to play songs that were popular during the classic Batman TV show from the 60's. A lot of fun party music with horn section, keyboards and three part harmonies. Songs like... The Ventures - Hawaii Five-0, The Buckinghams - Kind Of A Drag, Dick Dale - Misirlou, The Outsiders - Time Won't Let Me, The Doors - Touch Me, Neal Hefty - Batman Theme, Strawberry Alarm Clock - Incense and Peppermints, The Fortunes - You've Got Your Troubles, Queen - Flash, Wonder Woman Theme, American Breed - Bend Me Shape Me, Safari's - Wipe Out, Shocking Blue - Venus, etc. Eventually we will attract the Comic Con fans and they will show up to shows dressed in their favorite superhero costumes. Maybe we can have them interact with us and make up some skits between songs. We can probably play Comic Cons, oldies bars, and hip Brooklyn establishments. This concept could work just about anywhere. Looking to practice around once a week or with individual members. Please respond with Facebook page, pics or website. I have had many responses to this ad from people who seem interested, only to never hear from them again. Only respond of you are interested! Oh, and please be under 40. Thank you good citizen!

Thanks!
- Bob
The Super Friends 

And that's that for this week in search bar abuse. Do you think anyone would come if I had a party where everyone dressed up like batman? 

Oh internet...

If I were to die and in the back of my closet someone found an alter to Tom Hanks, no one would be surprised. I haven't completely lost it and built one yet, I'm probably waiting for dementia to go all out on that one.

With this being said, Tom Hanks was an obvious choice for my post this week. I'm pretty sure everyone has done this at least once in their life, while on a site like etsy, pinterest, craigslist, artfire, amazon or ebay you type something random in the search bar and giggle over the random items that appear for sale.

I can't even put these in any kind of order because I don't have a favorite, they all kind of make me go WTF?! in their own special way.

First up is what Etsy had to offer:

The shop owner, Billy A.B had this to say about the shirt

"MIcrosoft Windows 98 and Tom Hanks with a fruit which is somewhere in between a raspberry and a pineapple, hand screen printed onto an orange Gildan Ultra t-shirt. Now ONLY Available in S and XL. We have some mediums left on a white t-shirt, if you want this, please let us know in the order notes :)

WHY???????????

Buy the t-shirt and become even more confused." 

I could not have said it better myself. 

My next stop was Ebay, where I found this charming piece. 

I had no idea zombie cards of celebrities existed, but wow, am I glad that they do. I'm also happy to see Wilson make an appearance. 

Amazon was next on my list and this is what it brought me. 

It's possibly one of the most upsetting things I've ever seen. I'll be the first to admit that I don't know a darn thing about art. It's hand painted so that's admirable and it certainly looks like Tom Hanks. Perhaps that is why I find it so off putting, he appears to be upset or in pain and I'm just not ok with that.

Artfire was my next stop. 

I've seen decks of cards like these before. I actually have a card that my great uncle was depicted in for his time playing football at Notre Dame, I ended up displaying it in a photo frame with other items because I just wasn't sure what to do with a playing card. This little number is a paper weight and I actually think that's a great idea. I just wish I used paper...

Checking out craigslist provided me with a most unusual Tom Hanks reference.

I can only assume that the above picture is the author of the posting titled "ARE OUR PATH CROSSED". 

Dear Soulmate,

Have we met yet? Are our paths crossed? Will they ever? Every day, I wonder if you are already close to me or if you are some non-being yet to exist in my bubble of knowledge.

I've been waiting for you for a long time. If you know me, you should show yourself soon, I am getting tired of waiting. Of course... If you really are my soulmate, and I believe you are, then I am just being silly and impatient.

Soulmate, maybe you haven't come out yet because you don't know me well enough. --Have you run away because you know me too well? I want to know all about you, and yet a part of me wonders if the mystery is more romantic.

Is there only one of you out there, or do you have a twin brother or sister that you can introduce me to? If you know, please tell me, because I have been feeling a little lonely lately.

I saw the movie "You've got mail" the other day. The part where Meg Ryan was supposed to meet with Tom Hanks at a coffee shop, she has a flower as an indicator, a symbol, of who she is. Will you be holding a rose too? In a coffee shop?

How will I know who you are from all the other people in the world?

Are you just like me, or are you my opposite and compliment in every way?

I thought I found you once. I really did. You were beautiful, and you smiled at me, and you said everything I wanted to hear. You made me laugh, and you made me feel beautiful, you made me feel so complete, even though you were never mine.

It wasn't really you, though. It was just somebody with your mask on.

Dear Soulmate, are you happy right now? I hope you are, I would never want you to be sad or hurt, even if I haven't met you yet.

Dear Soulmate, whether you're my best friend, or somebody from the other side of the world, please let our meeting as soulmates be special. Please let it be wonderful. I know my eyes will fill with tears of happiness even if it's not a perfect moment, because when I find out who you are, I don't think that anything can dampen the elation I will feel.

Dear Soulmate, I know I will love you with all my heart, and I can't wait for us to fall for each other in a way that is not like falling at all but is more like flying above all others, being next to each other, holding each other, helping each other.

I can't wait.

PLEASE put "LOVE LIFE " in the subject line when you send me your information so I know its not a spam,.All emails without the word LOVE LIFE in the subject line will be delete

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NUMBER 

And finally, Pinterest via DAMNYOUAUTOCORRECT provided me with this.

I find this highly amusing because there is a chance that that would happen in my phone one day.

I hope you enjoyed all the warmth and happiness that Tom Hanks can bring to your soul. Now be honest, do you amuse yourself with search bars the way that I do?