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19.1.14

Body+

Your body hears everything that your mind says.

Last year I got really into pushing myself physically and found out what completely amazing things my body could do with a little time and conditioning. I was captivated, I was addicted, I was happier and more confident than I had ever been because I was finally doing something for myself that I was really proud of.

Then I stopped.

I got stressed and seemed to never have any time right before the wedding and after I just needed to rest, everyone told me I was burnt out and even though I didn't feel like it I believed them, so I rested. Then we went on our honeymoon and upon returning home I just didn't feel like it anymore.

I started to get cranky and feel sad.

Things at work weren't going so well and added to my general sour mood and sadness.

Suddenly I was escaping the world through books, hours and hours spent holding still while off in some fantasy land.

I kept telling myself I would be active again but all I did was procrastinate, there's always some kind of valid sounding excuse to start tomorrow or next week.

Suddenly your body can't do the things it used to. It no longer looks the way it used to and this makes you even sadder. Moping certainly doesn't help the situation but it's all you want to do.

Then I caught a lucky break, someone who had left my current place of employment for greener pastures let me know about an opening to which I applied and was offered.

Now that I wouldn't be stressed and sad about work all the time I'm sure I could get my groove back.

But of course I'll need to settle into the routine first, acclimate to my new position.

And the next thing you know, weeks have passed and you still haven't done anything. At least the last job you had was a very physical position even though it makes you sad, this new one involves a lot of sitting. So now you're sitting all day and sitting all night, a complete decrease in activity.

You have two choices, make changes or wallow in it.

I chose the latter for a while until I stumbled across things I'd written and pictures I had posted last year. Look how happy I was, look how healthy my words were.

Instead of letting the enormity of my fall crush me I picked myself up and got started back on the road to finding my healthy self again.

The journey was hard at first, things that used to come so easy to me now seemed insurmountable. I became the master at self pep talks. Something changed in my brain and I finally took a more positive tone with myself.

I can't speak for everyone but I know in my case that my biggest hurdle is my mind. If I'm mid workout and suddenly my thoughts turn negative I am instantly out of energy. Staying body positive has been the biggest asset to my road back to finding my healthier self and I'd recommend giving it a try to anyone who is struggling on their journey.

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