Wedding Recap Part 1

Most of the following was written a day or two after the wedding as I recaped the big event for some friends who couldn't get it and were dying for details. I am so glad that I did this right away because I really did forget almost everything that happened. When my photographer sent me the pictures I said a lot of "oh yeah, I forgot about that". It's amazing that the old cliche of it all being a blur is 100% true, and here I was thinking that I had been stopping to savor moments. 

Ok Recap... because the only way I know how to do this is to tell you every single thing that I can remember. 

This is going to be LONG.

I woke up Saturday morning in within the first five minutes of consciousness I'd already gone from terrified to nervous to excited and back again, it was quite the roller coaster. The beef helped chill me out though. 

Then it was off to Mom's house for The Big Hat Breakfast with the Bitches which was completely lovely and exactly what I needed to stay calm and get some food in me. There was a fantastic speech given with words from some of the lovely ladies who couldn't make it and a strand of buttons (for button!) one from each bitch to carry on my bouquet. 

 

I also may have tried to hatch a plan to steal Gus. We matched but he didn't care.

 While there Katie, my photographer, started banging away at detail shots because she felt like she was going to throw up. She's a talented photographer but had never done a wedding before and she was feeling a lot of nerves. 

From there it was time to get glammed up so Katie, Mom and I headed over to my friend Kristina's house where she and her sister Kim were ready for us with more alcohol and glam supplies. 

Hair came first and it went off without a hitch. I took a brief intermission between hair and makeup and for whatever reason suddenly realized that I'd forgotten to bring my undergarments. No big deal, it was a short trip to my place and back for my saintly mother to retrieve them.

Make up went well I didn't lose an eye to Kims mascara wand like I'd feared. About half way through it dawned on me that I was getting married and I started giggling. This may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I'd been sipping screwdrivers all morning. 

In the meantime Katie we outside to use some different scenery for more details shots.

And then suddenly hair and make up were done and we weren't behind schedule at all so I was able to take a few minutes break outside alone with my mother where I giggled a lot more.

There was some confusion about where I would get dressed in the house because we needed lighting and space. Eventually it was decided that the living room with the big picture window looking out onto the road would work best. I decided I would be putting on more modest underpants. 

My mother helped me into my dress, took one look at me and started to cry. My mother hasn't cried once since she started taking her medication, not even at a funeral for a baby. This came as a shock to me and my first reaction was to slap her to get her to stop but I kept my wits about me and my hands to myself and somehow managed to contain my tears from spilling out of my eyes.

Then it came time for me to see myself in the full length mirror and it really shocked me, I didn't recognize myself at first. Then I decided that I looked wonderful and started to breath again.

From there everyone headed over to the ceremony site while Katie and I headed back to Mom's house to meet The Beef for pictures. I called him on the way, he said he would get there before us and I instructed him to hide in the bathroom, he said ok but when we got there he passed us on his motorcycle so I ended up hiding in the bushes until he came back and Katie could hide him in the house while we did some just me portraits. 

We took some pictures and then it was time for him to join us. Katie brought him out to the back of the yard while I was hidden behind him, he had his eyes closed and he seemed a little nervous but I could tell Katie joking around with him was making him feel better. He just wanted to make sure we weren't playing a trick on him and he wouldn't be opening his eyes to see a dude standing in front of him. 

When it was finally time for him to see me he opened his eyes and his smile was real and the first thing he said was "hi beautiful" and I absolutely melted. 

Then it was time to get some portraits out of the way. Nice pictures that we knew our parents would really want but probably wouldn't be feeling patient for with a party going on after the ceremony.

The pictures certainly are very pretty and exactly the kind we were going for but they only show one part of our personality and no matter how hard we try when the camera is on eventually the other side comes out and we truly become our silly selves. This is the point of a first look anyway, getting rid of the jitters and what gets rid of the jitters faster than this?

We took a few more pictures and then it was time to get going. Off to the ceremony!

To Be Continued...

The Story

Back in March I confessed to a friend that I suspected The Beef was planning to propose during my annual birthday camping trip. A few weeks later he accidentally confirmed it.
Ever since it's been the elephant in the room.

Mother's day weekend was insane at work, we were short staffed, tons of extra people were there to visit their mom's and it was sweltering. Easily the worst weekend I've ever worked at my job. Monday wasn't much better and I ended up working late because the next shift was short staffed. Knowing I had Tuesday & Wednesday off from work I embraced my workout rest day and had some *cough* cocktails with friends.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I was wondering if the bus that hit me survived. Aside from hanging out with one of the cutest babies on the planet and cleaning my car I didn't get much accomplished except for laying on the couch. This meant that my workout rest day turned into two rest days which was bad news because I'd been hoping to squeeze in an extra workout in on my day off to finish the program earlier.

This sets up the scene for Wednesday where I figured if I spaced them out right I could get three workouts in. I woke up bright and early and completed the first insanity workout without my brain even knowing it was awake yet. After some breakfast and chores I still wasn't quite up for working out so I did more chores. After a light lunch I hit my next workout hard and it hit back even harder.

I decided I'd need a hell of a rest if I was going to move further. So when The Beef got home he found me in my red plaid snuggie in all of my post workout stank glory on the couch crying for my mommy conserving my energy for the next go around.

I hate working out when there's someone else in the house so I was relieved to find out that he'd be going over to a friends to mow his lawn. At this point I was getting anxious to workout and he was taking his sweet time leaving the house. All of a sudden he plops down on the couch next to me and comments that his pulse is racing and asks me to check it.

Sure enough his heart is about to beat right out of his neck. My mind starts spinning wondering if he's been bitten by something or if he's had some medication that's suddenly showing horrible side effects. Dr. House I am not, so I started to go numb in the brain, which might explain my confusion as he pulled a small hand carved wooden box out of his pocket and said, "I got you this."

I took the box in my hand and stared at it in shock. I knew this was the ring box that he made me because I'd seen it before during his accidental proposal confirmation. Still, something in my brain wasn't working and I asked what it was and if it was for me. As I opened the box and saw the ring all I could do was stare, shocked in silence and ask again if it was for me. He took it upon himself to officially pop the question and finally my brain started working because I was able to say yes.

And if you must know shortly after the proposal he did leave the house to mow the lawn and I got my 3rd workout it. It was business as usual until a few hours later when we visited my mother to share the good news.

So what happened to the camping trip proposal? 
To be honest, it's not completely that he got the ring and just couldn't wait, though that's the romantic conclusion every seems to jump to. I knew it was coming and as he put it when could he possibly do it?
Not before we left: I'd be getting home from work and in a hurry to hit the road.
Not on the drive up: We might crash and die.
What about the first night: The high likely hood of alcohol consumption wouldn't go over well, failure to consume alcohol would cause suspicion.
The next morning: Button is not a gracious person in the morning.

Etc... See where I'm going with this? How far into the weekend could he have gone before one or both of us had gone crazy. Visions of him chucking the ring box at my head shouting "HERE TAKE IT" filled my head.

So even though he blew the initial surprise he still managed to surprise my sweaty ass.

So when's the wedding?
None of your business! Honestly, the fact that this is the first question everyone asks (even people with dementia) is creepy. I don't even like weddings (more on that later).

OMG SHOW ME THE RING!!!

So there it is, THE STORY, in print. Hopefully I can stop telling it now.