Shop at your own risk, or with some xanax.

Losing half of my hours at the office sent me scurrying back into the world of retail so I could pay my rent. After a five year absence I wasn't all that thrilled about returning, but a friend of mine was a manager at a local store and said they were desperate for help. Going into a place where I would immediately have the inside scoop, know a manager, and didn't really have to interview sounded like a good deal to me. The office gave us two weeks notice when our hours were slashed and I'd already secured the retail gig a week before the change took affect.

The store is in the local mall and sells plus sized clothing. This isn't something I'm terribly familiar with. I'm currently not as small as I once was, but I 'm also not as big as I once was and even then, though I probably should have, I never shopped in a plus sized store. But my attitude is that people are people and clothes are clothes so the size of either doesn't actually make a difference. I can't imagine any of the issues I encounter there being different from any other store that only sells clothes for women.

This is because no matter what size they are, women become completely insane while shopping for clothes. I'll admit it, it happens to me too. You find yourself in that cramped fitting room, surrounded by bright lights and mirrors with this stuff you barely remember picking off the racks and your mind turns to mush. How can something that looks so great on the hanger look like such garbage on you? If a hanger can make it look good what's wrong with you?

I consider myself a reasonably bright individual. If it was up to me I would completely avoid the women who just exited the fitting room for the first time. Unfortunately, the stores policy is that I run up to you, try to get a sense of what you'll want to buy from us, and if you haven't killed me yet try to get you to apply for a store credit card. In other words, they expect me to have no soul.

When we're short on management I actually wait until the second time they exit the fitting room, at this point they're either in a good mood because they found something or defeated because they have failed twice. Given the choice I'd rather deal with someone who is defeated vs. someone on the verge of homicidal rage. I can get a much better sense of what might be a good fit for you when you're not shooting daggers at the rack of leggings and swearing under your breath. 

Now, I understand that not everyone is like this, but 90% of my customers have fall into the crazy while shopping category. Of course, we have customers that scamper away from you like they're a deer and you have a shot gun and at the other end of the spectrum the ones who drag you around the store trying to get you to hold their stuff for them while they shop and tell you their life story, but they're not nearly as prevalent.

What about you? Do you completely lose your shit while out shopping? Have you ever lashed out at a poor defenseless retail slave?